Dear Dr. Seuss,

Why are your graduation quotes so cheesy and yet so perfect?

I mean, there's only so much "reach for the moon and land among the stars" hubaloo that a girl can handle before the gag reflex kicks in. And yet, for some reason, you've escaped that fate. Because while a couple of your sayings have become a bit trite now ("Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."), the rest are still pretty good.

(Though, between you and me, I see through your act. Pretty sure you wrote Oh, the Places You'll Go! solely with perpetual royalties from Hallmark in mind.)

My current favorites include:

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."

"Things may happen and often do
to people as brainy and footsy as you."

...and...

"You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.
You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left."

Some pretty fun stuff, Mr. Seuss. Thanks for the entertainment.

Sincerely,
A Devoted Quote Lover

P.S. I never thought about this before, but you're a doctor, right? Or have your doctorate? So you've been through many a graduation, it would seem. Speaking from experience?

Official Proclamation

Dear Reader,

Due to the general bada**ery of my new camera, all pictures on my blog, from here on out, will be taken by me, unless credited otherwise. Therefore, please only borrow my pictures if you credit generously and promise to take me to Disney World someday. Those are my conditions.

With Love,
Moi

Open Letter to My Chocolate Chip Cookies

Dear Cookies,

You don't look as pretty as the ones in the picture on the recipe. Kinda dry and flaky. This saddens me.

You also taste kinda funny.

Was it because I used baking powder instead of baking soda? Because zee interwebbs assured me that this would be okay.

But I guess eet vas wrong.

Love,
Me

Open Letter to Guys with Facial Hair

Dear Scruffy Boys,

There's just something about you that makes my heart go pitter-patter.

Even if, on second glance, you may not be my particular type, I will still crane my neck, awkwardly stop talking, lose my train of thought, and all around embarrass myself immediately when I first get a glimpse of you.

You men just look better with facial hair. I don't know what it is.

For example, we'll start with Zac Efron. Not my cup of tea... too "pretty boy" for me.

But give him a little facial hair, and ...

Not bad.

Or let's look at Jake Gyllenhaal. He's looking kinda cute as a clean shaven fellow. 

Not bad. 

But with some facial hair -- SHA-BAM!

And last, but not least, the Sexiest Man Alive, Ryan Reynolds.

A beautiful specimen already.
 

But add a little scruff, and ....

 

.. Be still, my heart.

*Excuse me while I catch my breath*

*
**
***

Aaaaannywaaay...

Gentlemen of the world, please stay always rugged and natural. It suits you.

Though, let's not get carried away.

That, my friends, is the definition of getting carried away.

Also, on a side note, let's maintain at least a little weight and not revert completely to a hipster state of being. I prefer a little meat on the bones.

Sincerely,
Looking for My Own Mountain Man

Too Much FB PDA

Dear Guys in Love with Girls,

Please don't share that information with the world on Facebook. We don't need to know. Pillow talk is called pillow talk for a reason, and it belongs in the bedroom.

Whisper sweet nothings in private. It doesn't belong permanently inscribed in zeros and ones, deep in the recesses in cyberspace. Because first of all, that's impersonal. Go buy her flowers. Typing up a love note [shouldn't] cut it anymore.

And when a long status pops up in my newsfeed about the luster of her eyes and how her beauty is only outshone by her intelligence, I don't think it's romantic. I want to gag.

Too much public display of affection. And yes, PDA still counts as PDA on Facebook.

Knock it off.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
Girl Wanting to Creep on People While Keeping My Food Down

Open Letter to the Universe

Dear Universe,

Thank you for all that I have been given. I really don't thank you enough. I am blessed.

With Love,
Virginia

Open Letter to Anyone Who'll Listen

Ladies and Gentleman,

I am officially done with the last FALL semester of my undergraduate career. Done. Finished. Fini! 

Ginormous CCEW Presentation? Check.

Paperwork for Advanced Production film? Check.

American Independent Film final? Check.

Shakespeare's Comedies and Histories final? Check. 

Check and check mate. Done and done. Swoop! Christmas break, here I come!

Sincerely,

Me

Open Letter to Walmart Man

Dear Sir,

Normally I think it's a little creepy when random older men talk to me in the grocery store. But you were nice and only needed help finding the Jet Puff stuff. Sorry I couldn't help you out there.

I am so happy that I ran into you again later in my shopping trip. I'm glad you found the Jet Puff.

And THANK YOU for sharing your wife's fudge recipe with me. You didn't have to give it to me, even though you insisted you had more copies of it at home. And, seeing as both you and your wife signed the recipe copy at the bottom, I have a sneaking suspicious you found someone to share that recipe with on purpose. I'm honored you chose me.

Thank you for finding your own small way of spreading holiday cheer.

Sincerely,
Happy Shopper

Open Letter to Caffeine

Dear Four-Cups-of-Coffee-a-Day Habit,

I have something to tell you, and it probably wont be easy to hear. Do you want to sit down?

Here's the deal. I realize that we have been in an on-again-off-again relationship for about four years now, but after finals week, we're through. For reals this time.

I'm sorry, but you just aren't good for me. You make me nervous and uncomfortable. I can focus with you, but then I'm so high strung that once you've left for the day, I crash into a tired, weeping mess. I really do weep a lot-- especially lately-- and I blame this on you.

So to save my heart, I have to let you go.

Sincerely,
Jittery Emotional Student

Open Letter to the Universe

Dear World,

While I'm not entirely positive-- and more conclusive evidence/experience is needed-- I'm pretty sure the absolute best thing that ever happened to you is the Christmas season. I am convinced.

Laid out below are my most unbiased, objective reasons for this claim.

- Drinking steaming hot chocolate with a giant mound of mini marshmallows while cuddled up by a fire (real or the TV yule log kind) on a lazy evening.

- Driving around and admiring twinkling Christmas lights -- especially white icicle lights. They're my weakness.

- Snowflakes, snow piles, snowboarding, snow angels (especially while hot tubbing)

- "Last Christmas" -- especially the Wham! version. YouTube it. You wont be sorry.

- Watching Elf and then quoting it for the rest of December. "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?"

- Reading the "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus" editorial. It's so elegant and inspiring.

- Singing "Baby It's Cold Outside" in the most seductive voice possible, then debating the song's creepyness vs. awesomeness with friends.

- Listening to Christmas carols while studying. Josh Groban's velvety voice will soothe your stress away.

- Tacky Christmas sweaters. My favorite is when people wear them to be ironic, but you know they just really love that thick wool knit.

- My bright red sleigh bell earrings with green bows. You better bet I'm going to wear them to class. And jingle all the way.


After such strong evidence has been laid before you, I trust that you will agree with me on this claim of Christmas's superior position within the existence of humanity.

And to thank you for this delightful bright spot in the middle of such dark, dreary months, I would present you with a commemorative gift, if I could. As it is, I can only offer you a hearty imaginary handshake to show my appreciation to you for allowing this wonderful season to continue on forever. Which, I trust, always will (*hearty handshake turns into intimidating squeeeeeze*).

Please don't ever let Christmas disappear, no matter how much some Scrooges like to complain that Christmas is over-commercialized. Don't listen to them. They have a glass half-empty attitude, and their parents probably didn't let them believe in Santa Clause. They're still bitter.

Sincerely,
Discerning Holiday Connoisseur

NaNoWriMo = Writing a Novel in Thirty Days

My Dearest Readers,
Ohmygoodnessgracious! HOW DID I JUST FIND OUT ABOUT THIS NOW?!?!?!

I just found out that there actually exits a contest where you can sign up and receive a certificate if you write a novel of 50,000 words during the month of November.

What?!

It's called NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and apparently, you start writing on Nov. 1, and you submit your work before midnight local time on Nov. 30. And if you finish, you get all sorts of badges and certificates and the pride that comes from knowing that you-- yes you!-- just wrote a complete novel in only one month.

If only I had known!

*wring hands in despair*

If I had known about this before November 1st, I would absolutely have joined the club. Not that I have any particularly good stories to tell (I'm still looking) or any extra time at all, but I still haven't given up on the idea of completing a novel before I graduate college-- and this could have been my chance.

I would have signed up in a heartbeat, instantly turning into a harried kid typing away like mad in the corner, spurred on by the challenge of writing 2000+ words a day.

But alas, I just heard about this. And November is halfway over. And writing 50,000 words before the 30th means that I would have to write at least 3125 words EVERY DAY, starting tomorrow. To give you perspective, that's about five-- 5, cinco, cinque, cinq-- Times New Roman, 12-pt font, single-spaced FULL pages of writing. And it's all creative stuff, no less. That takes tiiiiime.

I wish I could do it though. I wish ever so terribly that I could. There's just something about setting a non-negotiable deadline that makes writing that much easier. Until there is a deadline in front of me, there's no pressure to get it done now.... which means there's no pressure to complete it ever.

I don't know. Maybe it's not too late? I could fit that in somewhere, right?

Sincerely,
An overbooked yet still optimistically undecided student

P.S. Decision still to come. I'll let you know in the morning.

Open Letter to IMDb

Dear Internet Movie Database,

I passionately dislike your new formatting. Why on Earth would you want to change something so great as the classic IMDb page? The new layout is not intuitive and it tells you so much less about each film than it used to.

Please change it back! Some of us don't have the time it takes to hunt around on your site for information that used to be easy to find. We have film papers to write.

Sincerely,
A Disgruntled Film Student

Open Letter to Road-side Homeowners

The other day, I found this open letter scribbled on a sticky note and stashed in an old folder. And even though I haven't been on a train in a while and road trips are a distant memory, the thought still holds true.

Dear People who Live in Cute Homes by Large Highways or Railroad Tracks,

Thank you for buying that house with the beautiful gabled roof and wrap-around porch, even though you know how loud that constant traffic is going to be. I can see your homeowner's pride in that manicured lawn and impeccable flower beds, and I thank you for it. Because of people like you, I have an enchanting view from my seat on the train.

Sincerely,

A Happy Traveler

Open Letter to Rude Boy

Dear Boy on Cell Phone Hovering Over My Office Desk,

I am working. You are not. Standing over my desk while I am in the process of helping you is fine, but standing over my desk and answering your cell phone while I'm trying to help you is not.

When you are in a line or in an office and someone else is helping you, that is not the time to take a personal call. And if you must, please remove yourself from the room. No one needs to hear your daily agenda or how busy you are today or whatnot. That's your business.

Recap: Answering your cell phone mid-conversation with an official person (or even a peer) is rude. Please stop.

Sincerely,

Working Student Assistant

Open Letter to My Readers,

Dear Readers,

So... a long, long, long time ago, I participated in this pageant. Or rather, I participated in this scholarship program for young women. It was awesome, as I loved being on stage at the time-- who doesn't love parading around on stage in a beautiful dress?! (There was no swimsuit element in this pageant, thankfully.)

Well, crazily, I won that competition, and became Montana's Jr. Miss 2007. And so began a short, but incredibly fun time during which I was a "title holder." Basically all I did with this pseudo-celebrity status was start a chess program at my local Boys and Girls Club during the year, and then the summer after, I went down to Mobile, Alabama to compete in Nationals.

But even though it was a short-lived adventure in which I didn't really maximize on all the opportunities I was being given, it was still an AMAZING experience. The program, America's Jr. Miss (now called Distinguished Young Women), did everything in their power to make every one of us 51 ladies (50 states + D.C.) feel beautiful, intelligent and welcome during Nationals.

The mission of the program was, and still is, to promote self-confidence in women by encouraging them to become the best they can be. They do this by providing college scholarships and creating a program in which we were able to shine as leaders (through public speaking opportunities and the chance to be role models for younger women).

From their website:

Our Mission

Distinguished Young Women is a national scholarship program that inspires high school girls to develop their full, individual potential through a fun, transformative experience that culminates in a celebratory showcase of their accomplishments.

• By encouraging continued education and providing college scholarships
• By developing self-confidence and the abilities to interview effectively, to speak in public, to perform on stage and to build interpersonal relationships
• By encouraging and showcasing excellence in academic achievement, physical fitness, on-stage performance skills, and the ability to think and communicate clearly
• By creating opportunities to beneficially inspire the lives of others

While I no longer participate in pageants, I am eternally grateful for all that I was given through this program. I met a huge number of amazing, loving people, many of whom I am still in contact with over three years later. My self-confidence increased by leaps and bounds by having the chance to start programs (like my chess program), give Be Your Best Self talks, and be a role model to the younger women around me (both in the program and outside it).

Anyway... why am I going into all this, you ask? Well, for starters, I've had a unusually large number of conversations about pageants lately. Somehow it came out in Philadelphia that I was in pageants in high school, and naturally, lots of the girls wanted to know what that was like, etc. There was a lot of criticism towards pageants (not surprisingly), and while I did my best to defend them, I'm not very good at verbal debates. Give me a pen, and I'll argue away, but I lose my train of thought too easily when I'm talking.

Anyway, look for a post in the next day or so about pageants (their pros and cons). I don't have time to finish that post today.

But... moving on to the most important reason for why I am writing to you about pageants....

The Distinguished Young Women program is nothing like the pageants you've heard or read about. They require a high GPA and test scores. They look at your high school transcript and extracurricular activities/volunteer hours, etc. There is an interview, onstage question, evening wear, and talent portion, but there is NO swimsuit competition. Instead, we do this little dance/aerobic routine on stage (the goal is to show that each woman has embraced a healthy lifestyle, etc).

It is a program in which young women's interests come first. And they have, more than once, turned down the chance to integrate a swimsuit competition into the competition --even though it would increase their ratings, they refuse to allow this element into their program. For that reason, and many others, I have a lot of appreciation and respect for the Distinguished Young Women organization.

And now to why I am writing this...

The national headquarters for Distinguished Young Women is in Mobile, Alabama-- an area hit hard by the BP oil spill in April. Traditionally, the program has received significant local support, relying heavily on in-kind donations to successfully host their national competition-- which in turn enables them to give out over $100,000 in college scholarships (and make over $80 million in scholarships available to all the local & state competitors). Unfortunately, because of the environmental disaster, local charitable contributions will be significantly down this year.

However, there is a chance for the program to receive this much needed funding, in the form of a Pepsi Refresh grant. The Pepsi Refresh Project is hosting a competition to award $1.3 million dollars to projects that will refresh communities in the Gulf region -- not just environmentally, but also economically and culturally. There are four different categories (ten $5K awards, ten $25K awards, ten $50K awards, and two $250K awards), and the Distinguished Young Women program is currently in the running to receive one of the $250,000 awards.

The problem is, only the top two ideas will receive funding, and we are currently in FOURTH! So close!

This is where I need your help!

It is YOUR votes that will make the difference. Those who already know and love the program have been voting diligently, every day, for the last month. But there are only two days left and we aren't there yet.

We need you, the reader who hasn't heard about this amazing program and this amazing Refresh grant, to vote. It is YOUR votes that will make the difference here.

Please take five minutes out of your day today and tomorrow to log in and VOTE (using every email account you have -- I have five votes every day because I have five email accounts).

Also, if you are like my mom and don't like to give away your email or personal information, don't worry. Just be sure to uncheck the boxes at the bottom (that ask if you'd like to receive things in the mail, etc), and you'll never hear from Pepsi. I promise. I've been voting for the last month and I've never gotten anything from them (on any of my accounts).

So go to... http://gulf.refresheverything.com/distinguishedyw ... and please, please, please vote!

I will love you forever.

Sincerely,

A Former Jr. Miss

Open Letter to TED

Dear TED Talks,
Thank you for being a constant source of inspiration to me. Whenever I feel I need validation for choosing a career focused on creativity (or whenever I need to remind myself why I do this), I look to you for help. And you never fail me.

I shall now share you with my blog-- all the time.

Love,
A Dreamer

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Reader,

Expect more TED. You can thank me later.

-- Me

Open Letter to My New Lunchbox

Dear Awesome-est, Snazziest, Most Effective Lunchbox Ever,

Thank you for keeping my sandwich and apple sauce cool all morning. Because you work so well (and look so pretty), I will be using you all semester to carry my lunch around.

You will save me money and make my life easier. I love you.

Sincerely,

Grateful & No-Longer-Hungry Student

Dear Isabella,

I cannot wait until the day that I can show you these pictures and say, "Here, look. You really were the cutest baby on the planet. I have proof."

I also can't wait until the day that I can be the aunt that brings you Christmas presents from faraway places when you are little and then takes you to those places when you are older.

And I can't wait until I get to share with you my ginormous Barbie collection that I am still saving. Just in case God gives me all boys (which would be spiteful), at least I can share them with you.

Love,

Aunt Ginny (or whatever pronunciation of Virginia you can manage as a toddler)

Dear Accountants of the World,

I have an immense respect for you after this semester. And I no longer resent the fact that you guys have the best job placement out of college and the highest job security (everyone always needs an accountant). You guys have earned every penny and every steady job you have.

I'd just like you to know that my accounting class may have single-handedly destroyed all desire in me to get a business minor. And it has definitely shaken my faith in my test-taking abilities. Yet it gives me hope that out there somewhere, there is someone who understands all this well enough to make it their life-long career. Someone somewhere out there actually likes this stuff. And that's cool. I respect that. It prevents me from totally condemning accounting as the worst subject in the history of the world.

However, if I've learned anything from this class, it is that I should always hire an accountant for my money. Never attempt this at home.

Sincerely,

Miserable Financial Accounting Student

Open Letter to My Parents

Dear Parents,

I am excessively grateful for everything you taught me when I was a little girl. I want you to know how much I appreciate the solid education I was given at home.

However, there is one small issue that I'd like to bring to your attention. As many books as we had lying around the house, you never saw fit to introduce me to Calvin and Hobbes. For this, I hold a tiny grudge.

Calvin and Hobbes currently completes my life.

I just wish I'd found this endless source of joy at an earlier (and perhaps more appropriate) age.

Love,

Your Daughter