Current Thoughts...

Last night I didn't do my homework. Just deliberately didn't do any of it. And I had quite a bit of reading and brainstorming and emailing and drafting to do. Instead of being productive, my housemates/best friends and I sat around the table for an hour or so talking about our uncertain plans for the year after we graduate. Then I went to bed early.

This morning, I woke up early with the best of intentions. I was going to do my homework before the upcoming class, like a good student should. But one of my roommates had the television turned on to the morning news, and I got sucked into watching the live speeches being made by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas (who, I might add, were all much nicer and more articulate than I'd expected, whatever that means).

At one point, I was so involved in what was being said that fifteen minutes of crucial homework time slipped by. Remembering abruptly what I should actually be doing with my time instead of keeping up with world events and informing my mind or whatever, I jokingly (kinda) threw my notebook down.

Gesturing emphatically toward the television, I almost yelled at Valerie, "THIS is history being made. THIS is what I should be paying attention to, but I'm stuck needing to read stupid Shakespeare!"

Valerie just laughed at me. "Have senior-itis already?"

Hmm... Yes. In this case, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. The world and its happenings are so much more important in the grand scheme of things than reading Act 2 of The Merchant of Venice or writing a reflection paper on Stranger than Paradise.

And no. I don't have senior-itis.

That would mean that I was ready to leave here. That I was ready to get out of this comfortable little bubble of film screenings, analytical papers, and clearly-defined expectations. That I didn't need this anymore.

But let's not kid ourselves. I still need college terribly. Because no college means real life and having to define myself by something other than "student" and "film major." And with my future (at least my very immediate, very near future) so uncertain and fuzzy, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet.