Gotta Love Handouts

Before class one day, my friend Madison happened to look down and notice a stray paper sitting on a lonesome desk. Normally unattended papers get tossed without a passing glance, but not this time. Nope. This time, Madison read the handout and saved it to pass on to me. I have no idea what class the handout is from or who wrote any of it, but its contents are so incredible that I feel compelled to share them with you.

The paper is entitled "Movie-A-Minute Summaries."

Brilliant.

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
(1980, Directed by Irvin Kershner)

Luke
I have to go to Degobah.

Yoda
You have to use the force.

Luke
I have to go to Cloud City.

Darth Vader
You have to go to the Dark Side.

Luke
No I don't.

Darth Vader
I'm your father.

Luke
No you're not.

Darth Vader
Fine. I'll cut off your hand.

THE END

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THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
(1997, Directed by Steven Spielberg)

Jeff Goldblum
We must never go back to the island.

(Goes back.)

(Everybody dies.)

Jeff Goldblum
I told you we should never go back to the island.

THE END

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And my personal favorite...

GREASE
(1978, Directed by Randal Kleiser)

Danny
I like you, but you're not cool enough.

Sandy
What if I dress like a slut?

Danny
Now that you're not who you are, I can love you for who I wanted you to be.

THE END