The Best of (500)

This is why I think (500) Days of Summer deserved to at least be nominated for Best Original Screenplay...

Author's Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch.

Partygoer: So Tom, what is it that you do?
Tom: I uh, I write greeting cards.
Summer: Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.
Partygoer: That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?
Tom: I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that last forever, like a greeting card.

Rachel Hansen: Better that you find this out now before you come home and find her in bed with Lars from Norway.
Tom: Who's Lars from Norway?
Rachel Hansen: He's some guy she met at the gym with Brad Pitt's face and Jesus' abs.

Tom: Darling...
[Summer looks up at him]
Tom: I don't know how to tell you this, but... there's a Chinese family in our bathroom.

Tom: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.
Summer: I know.
Tom: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can.

McKenzie: Hey, maybe you should write a book.
Tom: What?
McKenzie: Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.