Announcements came in the mail yesterday.
IMMA FIXIN TO GRADUATE!!!
It is so bizarre to me that I have finally reached this point in my life. I am about to graduate. From college. The last "mandatory" schooling I'll ever have to do. I'm about to join the world of grown-ups -- the land of salaries, filing big kid taxes, saving receipts, and paying for expensive things (like cars, apartments, & insurance).
What?! When did this happen?
I don't know why I can't get over it. This isn't the first milestone I've crossed and it definitely wont be the last. And yet, this particular one -- this college graduation business -- feels like it carries more weight than anything else.
Because after this, the choices I make actually matter. I mean, sure, they mattered before. But they mattered more in a "what I choose not to do so I don't f*ck up my life" kind of way. I mean, I chose to not mess things up by doing drugs or all those other things your mama tells you not to do. But besides not getting preggo or addicted to crystal meth, the choices I've made haven't really had particularly permanent repercussions.
Until now. Now I'm graduating and choosing the direction of my life. And what I do now matters. I feel like where I go after college sets me on a specific path and will dictate all of my future opportunities. Such a scary thought.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE!
*gnash teeth and pull hair*
And sure, I realize I have lots of time and nothing is permanent and yada-yada. But if one more adult chuckles and says, "I still don't know what I'm doing with my life," I swear... heads are gonna roll. Not cool, smart-allecky adults. Not cool.
A. Your announcements are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteB. I totally feel you on this occasion being weighty. Graduating high school was merely a continuation on to the next mandatory level of school.
C. I don't save receipts and that's one of the "organizational systems" (as TFA would deem it) that I'm freaked out about the most. How does one just develop that over night?
D. You're awesome. And not knowing what's coming sucks, but you are contemplative and talented enough that you couldn't really f*ck up any path that you are put on. And because you are so awesome, if you decide you want to jump lines and hit up another path, you could make that transition with a lot more ease than a a lot of people. Which still doesn't make decisions any easier or less life-directing, but it does make you super cool.